This is My life

Is there anything like...

...the sound of a child's laughter?
...the feel of little arms wrapping themselves around you?
...hearing "thank you, mommy" in the sweetest voice imaginable?
...having a little one crawl in your lap and snuggle themselves until they have found the perfect fit?
...seeing the huge dimples of a happy 18 month old?
...snuggling with a little kid wrapped in their puppy dog towel after a bath?
...waking up to a bright light and a sweet kid saying, "morning, mom!"

well okay, so the bright light in my eyes wasn't that great, but the rest was :)

I am just soooo thankful to be a mom.  I love it.  Overwhelmed and tired at times?  You bet?  But would I trade any of it?  NO WAY!  I feel so blessed.  So seriously blessed.  Every mom is biased, I am sure, but seriously, my kids are WONDERFUL.  They are so sweet and caring and sensitive and loving and understanding.  I am overwhelmed by the compassion and love they have for me and for each other.  It is just such an amazing feeling knowing that you are raising these special little people to go out and do something and be something in the world.  I love that  my kids get to live their lives seeing us in ministry for others. I love that they are growing up with a heart for the nations. I love that they desire to be together and with us. 

I am truly blessed.

Just wanted to say...

...that there will be no normal post today.  I am feeling a bit better and so I plan on taking advantage of it and trying to knock an enormous amount of things off my to-do list.  I feel motivated (which is rare nowadays) so I feel like I should just go with it.  Hopefully if I get a lot done, I will stop feeling so overwhelmed and guilty!

Thanks for all the encouragement lately.  It has been a rough few weeks but God is faithful, even when it doesn't feel like it. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning :)

So far, so good...

Although I have not actually gotten out of bed this morning (ah, the joys of a laptop!) I SEEM to be feeling better.  Yesterday was a day like no other.  Jason, my sweet and wonderful husband, took the kids out for the WHOLE day.  I laid in bed all day.  Yes, it was heavenly, except for the fact that in a 24 hour period I couldn't keep any food or beverage in me.  I was also running a fever again all day.  And if that wasn't bad enough...

At about 6:00 pm Jason called to tell me that our car -- our only car -- had broken down SOMEWHERE on the Disney property.  He wasn't really sure where.  So there I am, fever over 100, vomiting and other not so nice things, driving one of the work vans to come rescue my family. The security guy at Disney was able to give the car enough power to get to a parking lot so I picked them up there.  Jason gets to deal with calling a tow truck today and all the other fun stuff that comes with it. 

We stopped by the store on the way home and I picked up some Gatorade, knowing that it was my last hope before having to go check into the hospital for an IV.  Twenty-four hours without food or drink can't be good for the baby. The Gatorade stayed down, though, and I got a good nights sleep.  And SO FAR, I am feeling better today.  Let's see what happens when I actually get out of bed :)

I am really sorry that I haven't been returning comments.  I haven't really been on the computer at all.  Hopefully by Monday I will be back and going full speed.

Have a great weekend!

Where are the hidden cameras?

** First let me say I am sorry for not posting yesterday.  We had an insanely busy day and I wasn't feeling well.

Anyway, back to the cameras.  I am starting to believe that I must be starring in a very long episode of candid camera.  When we were in India, I watched the show every Sunday afternoon with one of my dorm girls who loved it.  I remember one episode where an office had hired a new front desk receptionist.  She was supposed to answer phones, greet people, and most importantly, keep the piles of paperwork that come in neat and orderly.  The "workers" would work hard to pile all of these papers neatly and then a big gust of wind would come and blow them everywhere.  They would clean up, reorganize, and just as they were done -- WHOOSH!  Another gust of wind.

Yep, that is pretty much what life feels like right now.  Just as I seem to get life all neat and organized a big gust of wind comes and blows it, as my mother would say, "to kingdom come." 

The thing with candid camera, though, is that is is so absurd that it is funny.  Although I did feel bad for the office worker, I couldn't help but laugh.  And luckily, for the most part, that is how I am feeling about life too.  So absurd that it is almost funny. I was laying in bed last night -- stomach really upset, listening to Levi cry at 1:00 am for no reason, and thinking about how crazy things were.  Then I hear Caleb coughing, or wait, maybe that is gagging.  I nudge Jason and tell him sweetly that I am pretty sure Caleb just threw up. Jason gets up and sure enough, Caleb threw up. So as he is cleaning I hear Alaina come into our room.  She doesn't see Jason so she starts crying.  I know that she is afraid that he has left for breakfast without her.  I try to calmly tell her that it is the middle of the night and dad won't leave for breakfast without her.  So she lays down next to our bed (I have nixed the getting into bed with us thing) and goes to sleep.  Jason finishes with Caleb, lets him go back to sleep, and climbs in bed.  So there I am, still wide awake with my stomach gurgling and I hear Levi again.  Not crying this time -- more of a "I want to get out of bed" talking. I got up, got him some milk, hoping he was just hungry (he hadn't eaten much at dinner).  I then went back to bed, put my ear plugs in, and laid there wondering where the camera were.  Surely I must be on candid camera.

Anyway...since I am still pretty sick this morning and tired, Jason is taking the kids out for the morning.  I am hoping that with some sleep and some relaxation, I will feel better and go out with the family tonight (we're off until tomorrow afternoon).  It is supposed to get down to 64 tonight!  YEA! It is the middle of October and these 90 degree days are getting old.  It's hard to gear up for Halloween and Thanksgiving, much less Christmas, when the A/C hasn't been turned off since we moved here.

One LO for you -- I have been so uninspired lately.  I miss scrapping but when I have a little time, laying on the bed watching something seems more appealing.

This is SP's new SMELL MY FEET kit and a template by me. I see that the button over the Letter I has moved mysteriously...don't know how that happened.  Oh well, I will fix it later.

Have a great Thursday!

This is Good...

I am sure some of you have read this before...but it was new to me.  It was on my friend Kelly's blog this morning and as I anticipate my day filled with changing diapers, filling sippy cups, cleaning up messes it is good to gain a little perspective. I think parenting can be like one of those games where you see an up close pictures of something and you can't tell what it is.  When you move back (gain some perspective) you can not only see what it is but you can now tell what that blown up portion was.  It makes sense.  As a parent, we are often too close to the situation to see things for what they really are. It isn't JUST changing diapers, or teaching ABC'S or insisting on pleases and thank you's.  It is so much more than that.  Just like the lady in this story learned....

I'm invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?"

I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

So there you have it.  Keep building.  Keep dreaming.  And one day, you will start to see what you have worked so hard to create.  It may look like nothing much now, but one day it will.


One LO for you today...


Credits: paper, grungy edge, stamped heart, hand stamped alpha, distressed alpha font, ribbon (used as an overlay), and staples all by Michelle Coleman at Little Dreamer Designs. Photo frame template and paper dates (recolored) by me.  Alpha bead by Kimberly Giarusso.

Happy Tuesday!

A Short One Today...

This weekend was really long and really emotional....and then last night I came down with a really bad fever and a continuation of of my chronic headaches. Soooo...I am hoping to take it easy today...lay in bed, watch some movies, sleep, and try to get some strength back. I really don't know what is going on with this pregnancy.  Usually by 15 or 16 weeks I am back to feeling good.  I don't need naps anymore and I generally feel pretty good.  But not this one.  I am more tired than I have been with any of my other pregnancies even though I am getting plenty of sleep.  Things are so bad that my eye twitching is back -- I've had it off and on through the years and never really thought much about it. My eyelid just twitches uncontrollably for a few seconds. I haven't had any trouble with it for a long time (like maybe 8 months).  I looked it up this weekend and wasn't too surprised to find out that most often it is caused by excessive stress and fatigue.  Sometimes life just kicks you when you are down.

ANYWAY...even though I am not feeling great physically, my spirits are up and I am really not letting everything get to me.  I just feel bad that I can't be the kind of momma I want to be right now.  That's the hardest...I just want the energy to keep up with the kiddos.  This time will pass, though, and I will have four of the most amazing kids to show for it. Life is good.

Here are a few pictures from last week at Animal Kingdom.  We only saw a small part of the park but we really enjoyed it. I think it will be my favorite park! Alaina was thrilled to see so many characters.  Usually there are REALLY long lines to see the characters (as in we had to wait 45 minutes to see Minnie at the Magic Kingdom).  But we lucked out at Animal Kingdom!

Caleb doesn't look too sure about this, does he??  LOL!

I have a ton more from the day, including the really fun safari we went on, but those will have to wait.  I can't wait to start on our Disney Album! 

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Don't forget that today is the last day to pick up the October grab bags in my shop!

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Make sure you check on the Shabby Shoppe for a sneak peak at some wonderful new products coming out later this week!

Have a great Monday!

Happy Friday!

Today is my catch-up day...time to clean the house, pay bills, do laundry, catch up on emails, and do all the other normal "life" stuff.  I don't particularly enjoy all of it, but I DO enjoy the feeling of having it done and knowing that I am caught up.

To make it easier, Jason took Alaina and Levi out for the day.  I really struggle to get things done with constant interruption. Once I start a project, I want to finish it.  I don't like having to stop and do other things and then go back.  I can't even scrap like that -- I sit down and start a page and I finish it before I get up.  Just the way I am.  So, I told Jason to just take the kids out and leave me to clean.  Caleb is like me and needs some down time, so he is just chilling and asks very little of me. 

So...that is my thrilling day.  Tomorrow we will be gone all morning at a fishing tournament for our boys.  Should be fun.

I'll show you my LO for this weeks DIGI DARE.  For some reason the new dare isn't up yet, but I am sure it will be soon.

Credits: Paper, flourishes, and lace by Michelle Coleman.  Paper flowers by Ann Dejong.  Brads and staples by Shabby Princess. Font is SP Wonderful Wendy.

Have a great weekend!

Family Day!

I am soooo excited!  This is our first real family day in over a month!  With people visiting, my trips, and changed schedules we haven't really been just us in so long!  We are off from this morning until tomorrow afternoon! Yea!  We just need the down time -- time to sleep in in the morning a bit, cuddle in bed longer, make pancakes for breakfast.  Just enjoy being US.

I have a doctor's appointment this morning and this afternoon we may head to Animal Kingdom if we feel up to it.  But we'll see...I love not HAVING to do anything!

Our day yesterday was pretty good.  After one more sickie session (in which Jason got to be the glad recipient of Caleb's curdled mess) he was fine and we enjoyed a few good hours at Epcot Center. We only saw a bit of the park, but it was good.

I also got the OCTOBER GRAB BAGS finished up and into the store, so check them out! They will be available only until October 8.

GRAB BAG

GRAB BAG ~ SUPERSIZED

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I'll leave you with a few Alaina funnies...

ME: "So Alaina, if we have a baby girl, what should be name her?"
A: "___________" (insert the name we have talked about and will probably use)
ME: "Oh, I like that.  Don't you?"
A: "Yea.  No wait.  I know...I have a better name!"
ME:  "What's that, honey?"
A: "CONNIE COW!"
ME:  "Hmmm...we'll give that one some thought."

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"Mom, being patient is BORING!"

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Credits: CHIRPY DAYS kit by Jackie Eckles, carefree stitching and distressed alpha font by Michelle Coleman, date stamp by Amber Clegg, template by me

Have a great Thursday!

When Mothering isn't quite what you dreamt about...

Before having kids, and especially during pregnancy with your first, you have a lot of loving fantasies of what being a mother will be like.  You dream about holding this precious bundle in your arms as it lays in your arms content and cooing at you.  You think about stroking his/her face and looking into his/her eyes and knowing that just seeing them each day is all you need to be walking on air.

Now, I have to admit, there ARE moments like that.  There are days when I think the world is going to fall apart and then one of my kids will crawl up in my lap and give me a hug and all those problems I was worrying about just melt away.  There are many moments when the kids have me laughing so hard I swear I am never going to be able to talk again.  There are those photographs that make you lose your breath every time you see them. There are those proud moments when a stranger stops you in a store (albeit for the bazillionth time that day) and tells you how beautiful your children are. There are lots of those "I am so happy to be a mom" moments.

But there are also the more frequent, every day life, don't-want-to-but-still-have-to moments that make you wonder how you could be so naive to think that every day would be walking on clouds.

Take this morning for instance.  Not exactly what I hoped for when I went to bed last night...

First, I woke up late.  I absolutely HATE getting up in the morning and even more, I hate getting up and have to be doing something RIGHT THEN.  I like having time to wake up slowly, lay in bed, think about my day, and then give myself a pep talk about how once I am up, it won't be that bad. Not today.  Jason was up at six (as usual) and I should have been in the shower right after he got out.  But I fell back asleep and woke up having a horrible dream. I look at the clock and realize that I have ten minutes to be at breakfast.  No big deal really. Alaina was already gone (with Jason) and I would just have to skip the shower for now.  So as I am getting dressed I hear the door to the kids room. Must be Caleb.  He is taking too long though so I peek around the corner to see what the issue is, hoping against hope that he doesn't wake Levi up. Too late...Levi is up (and hour and a half early) and Caleb is already asking for his first of what will be many cups of milk for the day.  I have about three minutes to be at breakfast (we at a cafeteria with our dorm boys).  I throw on whatever clothes I can find, get Caleb his milk, grab Levi (not bothering to get him dressed) and walk to breakfast with Levi (Caleb doesn't go).

I get home from breakfast, hoping that the rest of the morning will go more smoothly. No such luck.  I walk into the living room and hear Caleb whimpering, "Dirty, dirty..."  Then I see him -- covered in milky curdled vomit (please excuse the vulgar image but I want to convey the situation for what it was...curdled.)  His blankie, Elly, and pillow are covered, as is the couch, the carpet, and himself. Great. Caleb needs a bath, which is is currently very opposed to.  I have to carry him to the bathroom and start stripping him down while he screams that he doesn't want a bath.  Tough luck, kiddo...the stuff in your hair and ear isn't going to come off any other way.  So I am washing him, listening to him cry, all the while listening to Levi cry because he can't get his clothes off and he WANTS in the tub.  Ugh.

So I clean Caleb, set him on the bed with a towel, take Levi's clothes off, put him in the bath, then head to the living room to start cleaning up the horrible mess.  No such luck...Caleb now is crying because he wants to be dressed so I stop cleaning, get him dressed, being very thankful that Alaina is being helpful by watching Levi in the tub.  Caleb is dressed, Caleb is happy (once I get him another glass of milk), and I "get" the clean up the curdled mess in the living room.  Get Levi clean, out of the tub and dressed and look at the clock.  Not even 7:30 am.  Now this is the stuff dreams are made of.

Thankfully, this is one of the days I can see the humor in already. Life with kids is a never ending adventure full of laughs and tears. So what if it isn't like the dreams you have before having kids?  The dream is better.  It is real. It makes my heart full.

This is my life.  I will embrace it.  How about you?

Have a great Wednesday!  We're off to Epcot.  Well, after I get that shower I was hoping for and figure out why Levi is screaming :)

What?? Is that a light???

You know...the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel?  Could that be it?

I feel like I have been going at 100 mph for the last few MONTHS.  Seriously, every time I think life is going to slow down something new comes up and I get thrown into another tailspin.  Most of it is GOOD stuff (except the "morning" sickness that is still kicking my rear at 18 weeks) but it all makes life a little crazy.  But...

I THINK I am seeing the end of it. We have settled into a routine with our jobs (even with the craziness that goes with it), homeschooling has started and is going well, SOY is over, family visits are over for a while, we are pretty settled into life in Orlando... it SEEMS like slower days (and cooler temps!) are on the way! I hope that is the case because....

I MISS so many of thing things that I used to have time for.  Scrapping and my creative teams, my template business (which has been so sadly neglected), cooking for my family, keeping in touch with friends and family, etc.... I miss it all so much.

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So much has been going on with us lately that I won't try to catch you up on everything. I will just hit some of the major points.

-- my trip to see my grandmother went fairly well.  It was a hard time (as expected) but it was good to see her.  She is a truly amazing woman.  She turns 99 at the end of this month and up until about three weeks ago she would put people to shame.  She lived a VERY active social life and she enjoyed every minute of it.  Bladder cancer is getting the best of her now and now she is pretty much confined to her home with in-home nursing care.  I am sooooo glad that we made the trip to Florida last year to come see her.  I am happy that Jason and the kids got to meet and be with the grandma I knew...the one who took three days to find a time to fit us into her schedule!

-- Last spring we started setting aside money for annual passes to Disney World.  We thought that since we would be living here we would rather just get passes so that we could see what we wanted when we wanted.  Well, last week we finally took the plunge and bought our tickets.  We now have complete access to the Magic Kingdom, Epcot Center, MGM Studios, and Animal Kingdom for the next year! So fun!  I love the fact that we can go for a couple of hours and then come home.  I can't imagine having to go and make it a "once in a lifetime" experience.  We went to the Magic Kingdom on Thursday and Jason took the kids back on Saturday when I was away.  Here are some pix from Thursday:

We are hoping to go to Epcot center today to see Nemo since in school we are studying the days of creation and today, day 5, God created the creatures of the sea.  However, I have a feeling the rain isn't going to let up so it may have to wait a day or two.

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In scrapping news, I have two very fun pieces of information:

1.  I had the honor of being asked to be a judge for the STAND UP AND SCRAP contest hosted by Little Dreamer Designs, Sweet Shoppe Designs, and DiScTalkRadio.  I have enjoyed looking through the galleries and know I am going to have the HARDEST time choosing just ten!

I LOVE all of these sites! I was a sugar babe at SSD for about six months and was on the personal team of some of the designers for a LONG time! I got to meet Deann of DTR when I was in Chicago for CHA and she is just the BEST.  And I have been a fan of Michelle Coleman and LDD forever. Just look at the credits of most of my LO and you are bound to see something from LDD! Which brings me to my second piece of scrappy news...

2.

 

YIPPPEEE!! I got an email from Lori last week asking if I would like to be a part of the LDD creative team!  I was really excited.  There are so many amazing designers and sites out there but for the last two years my two DREAM teams were working with Shabby Princess and with Scrapartist (and then Little Dreamer Designs when the new site started).  I can't believe I get to work with BOTH now! And now that life is slowing down I have time to really dive back into scrapping! Yea!

AND...I hope to be back into working with my templates.  I truly LOVE designing templates and seeing how they can help others in their own scrapping.  I MISS it.  I really do.  For months I have had piles of ideas piling up but with NO TIME to make the ideas come into reality.  I am hoping to change all that!  So be on the look out for new products in the next few weeks and a restructuring (and invites!) for my creative team. I also PLAN on having a grab bag up later this week! So stay tuned...

Okay, I think that is enough for one day!  LOL!  Have a fantastic Tuesday!